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Tag: wellbeing coaching

Feeling Overwhelmed in Education? Learning to Listen to Your Nervous System

How did it take me until my late 30s to really understand what my nervous system was trying to tell me in any given moment?

In the final couple of years of my role as an Attendance Officer in a busy, challenging inner-city school, I would tell my boss I was having a moment whenever I was feeling “fizzy”. This wasn’t a code word; I literally felt fizzy. My body would be sparking, my ears ringing, and my heart – not racing exactly – but certainly getting a bit of a gallop on.

This would often happen after a particularly busy, unpredictable morning. Perhaps there had been a safeguarding issue, a difficult parent conversation, a child in crisis, or maybe a student had told me to F*** off just to round things off nicely. Over time, I learned to recognise that feeling and, importantly, what it meant. I knew my nervous system was overloaded and that if I could take ten minutes in a quiet space, I stood a much better chance of getting through the rest of the day.

The thing is, this awareness didn’t arrive overnight. I’d spent the best part of eight years working in that same school without really being able to tune into what my body was telling me in real time. Instead, I would push through, keep going, and then wonder why I found myself asleep on the sofa at seven o’clock in the evening after inhaling a party pack of onion rings and a couple of iced buns.

Looking back, I can see that my response to stress was both delayed and unhelpful. At the time, though, I think I simply assumed that this was what working in education felt like. I thought it was normal to spend most of the term running on adrenaline and then limp my way towards the next school holiday hoping it would somehow be enough to recharge me.

It’s a pattern I now see in so many of the women I work with. They are often highly capable, deeply caring professionals who have become so used to carrying responsibility that they no longer notice the signs that their nervous system has been struggling for months, or even years. They tell themselves they’re tired because work is busy, overwhelmed because life is demanding, emotional because they’re not coping very well. What they don’t realise is that their bodies have been trying to get their attention all along.

When I eventually moved into a pastoral role, the work was still incredibly stressful, but I had a little more freedom to step away when I needed to. I could leave the office, find a quiet space and actually listen to what was happening internally rather than automatically overriding it. It was probably the first time I began to understand that stress wasn’t just something happening in my head. My body was involved in the conversation too.

That understanding has become one of the foundations of the coaching work I do today with overwhelmed and burnt-out women, particularly those working in education. Before we start talking about goals, confidence, boundaries or life changes, we spend time understanding the nervous system. We explore what overwhelm feels like in their body, how stress responses have shaped their behaviour over time, and why they may find themselves stuck in patterns that no longer serve them.

Because when you begin to understand your nervous system, so much starts to make sense. The exhaustion. The irritability. The emotional eating. The inability to switch off. The feeling that you’re constantly behind, even when you’re doing more than enough. What often looks like laziness, failure or a lack of resilience is, in reality, a nervous system that has been carrying too much for too long.

I’ve found that real change becomes possible when we stop judging those responses and start understanding them instead. Once we can recognise what our bodies have been trying to tell us, we can respond differently. We can begin to meet our needs earlier, create healthier boundaries, and move away from simply surviving each week.

For many women experiencing burnout in education, that shift is where recovery begins. Not by trying harder, becoming more productive or finding a better planner, but by learning how to listen.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or stuck in survival mode, coaching can help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface and reconnect with the version of yourself that feels calm, clear and capable. I offer life coaching for women in education both online and in Leeds, supporting clients to recover from burnout, rebuild trust in themselves and create a life that feels sustainable again.

Support for women who are overwhelmed and burnout

The Freeze Response Behind Burnout

The ‘freeze response’ is the sneaky nervous system behaviour that might be sitting behind the fact you feel on the edge of burnout.

We all know from secondary-school science that, when faced with a threat, our bodies can go into ‘fight or flight’. But what I never remember being taught about in school is the freeze response. It was only really when I got to A-Level and Degree Psychology that I learnt more about the lesser-known siblings of fight/flight – that is ‘freeze’ and ‘fawn’.

To ‘freeze’ is a pretty good survival instinct for your nervous system to have developed. Faced with a sabre-tooth tiger, your cavewoman ancestors may have survived by ‘freezing’ – making themselves hidden, smaller (think ‘playing dead’).

But when our modern-day threats are no longer the sabre-tooth tiger, but instead often a cumulative build-up of pressures – at work and in our personal and social lives – that lead to feelings of emotional overwhelm, the freeze response doesn’t feel too helpful. In fact, it can lead to us feeling numb, dissociated, anxious or unable to participate in life.

Feeling overwhelmed and burnout is something I experiencing myself during my teaching career.

And it literally felt like I was going about my days in a trance. I was still functioning (we now know about functional freeze), but I wasn’t participating in life.

And something that I completely abandoned (and I see many women I work with doing the same) was a connection with my self. As well as being numb to the world, the volume on my own needs turned down too. Nutrition, exercise, time in nature, engaging in conversation about how I was feeling – I didn’t do any of it. Until one day I literally could not open my front door to leave for work.

When life feels overwhelming, disrupting the pattern of life in a small way can be a good place to start. I found such relief in stepping out into nature, booking a massage, or speaking to one of the amazing women healers I had around me at the time. It was connection I needed – and a space just for myself.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed and teetering close to the edge of burnout, start small. Why not make today the day you begin to reconnect with yourself. Step out into nature – feel the grass underfoot, observe the new buds of spring – heck, hug a tree! – and by doing so, you’ll feel yourself gently stepping back into your self.

And, if you’d like a space to escape to, my in-person Reset Session might be just what you need.